If you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen my recent Tweet about feeling burned out. For the past few months, I have been writing pretty much nonstop. I prefer to write at night, so I usually am up until one or two AM practically every night. Here’s a quick recap of what I’ve been up to:
1. Finished Project #1
2. Sent Project #1 to critique partner and began Project #2 while I waited
3. Received feedback for #1, made final edits, and submitted it (yay!)
4. Worked endlessly on #2 and fell in love with it
5. Came to the end of #2, fell out of love due to frustration over the ending, and stopped to write a short story
Well, I’ve finished writing the short story and after taking a break from writing for two nights, I opened up Project #2 last night and began tackling the ending…again. After working on it for an hour or two and writing various scenes and deleting them seconds later, I started to fall apart. Shaking my head and thinking, “I can’t do this”, I saved the document and closed it.
I’m a firm believer in writer’s block and I don’t follow the belief that you should just keep writing even if it’s not good. I don’t like to force things and if a scene is not flowing naturally, I’m not going to waste my time writing something I’m just going to delete later. I’m also not the kind of writer who can jump ahead and then go back to a certain scene. I have to write a story from beginning to end.
What I’m getting at is that I think I’m burned out. I feel like a bad writer saying that, but the ending for #2 is just not happening and I don’t want to bully it to work. 🙂 Maybe I need to spend some time just reading and reviewing, two things I haven’t been doing enough of. Or maybe this is the time to re-read Twilight, the book that started my journey as a writer, and relocate my inspiration and motivation. *Sigh*
Is it bad that I feel like I need to take a longer break? Am I a bad writer? I have a feeling deadlines are going to be my worst enemies.