We begin with Francis and Mary canoodling in bed, which means we get a shirtless Francis. What a great way to start, am I right? Before they can get do even more canoodling, a guard comes into the room and tells Francis the Pope has sent urgent news to the palace.
Meanwhile, a bruised and recuperating Kenna tells King Leather Pants she knows he’s still seeing (among other things) Mistress Diane and he tells her he can’t let Diane go. Ouch. Angry, Kenna reminds him she nearly died last week because she’s his mistress, but he doesn’t really care and she finally, finally realizes she’s made a mistake in becoming another one of his lady friends. He ends the conversation by telling Kenna he will always choose Diane over her. Again, ouch.
Bash suspects his mother, aka Mistress Diane, of being in cahoots with the Pope in an attempt to have him legitimize Bash. She claims she’s not, which has “liar” written all over it. In the main throne room, King Leather Pants reveals to everyone that the Pope has sent word of Queen Elizabeth I’s failing health and that Mary is now next in line to claim England’s throne. King Leather Pants really, really wants her to rule England because he hates the English and wants them in his power. While Mary panics over the dangers of claiming the English throne, Nostradamus, once again, has the vision of Francis’s death, which upsets Catherine. Again.
The King later tells his neglected wife that if she prevents Mary and Francis’s wedding from happening, he’ll kill her. Yikes. Don’t mess with a power hungry King Leather Pants. Meanwhile, Mistress Diane tells Bash she can tell Mary loves him, too, which means the love triangle is now in full effect. Brace yourselves.
Kenna hobbles her way to Mistress Diane’s chambers to request a meeting and is cornered by a priest who mistakes her for Diane. He does us all a big favor by revealing that Diane has indeed been in contact with the Pope.
Outside, Mary and Francis take a sunny stroll and discuss Mary’s new predicament. She doesn’t want to start a war and worries no one in England will support her claim to the throne. Francis tries reassuring her by declaring his love for her and then properly proposes to her, getting down on one knee and everything. She excitedly accepts and as the music swells they embrace in a rather cliché, spin-her-around kiss. Their cuteness is almost too much to handle. The feels, people, the feels!
We return to Catherine, who’s wearing an awesome dress and feeding her bird, when Kenna barges in and tells her about Diane’s shenanigans in trying to get Bash legitimized. Diane’s actions, of course, are treasonous and Catherine just loves having power over her husband’s mistress. She’s not too keen on teaming up with his othermistress, though, and when Kenna leaves, we see that Catherine has poisoned her bird. Sad face.
Mary and her ladies enjoy some girl time and talk about her predicament, and how she and Francis are planning to marry the next day. Creepy Clarissa’s listening in like a creeper.
Meanwhile, Catherine whines to Nostradamus and admits that Mary is a perfect match for her son, but she wants Francis to live, which means Mary still needs to go. Nostradamus ridicules Catherine for wanting to kill Mary and urges her to tell either Francis or Mary (or both) about his vision. She goes off and tells Mary, effectively giving Mary the upper hand in their relationship since Catherine could be beheaded for heresy if King Leather Pants finds out she and Nostradamus have been getting witchy.
Not sure what she believes, Mary confronts Nostradamus and he stresses that her marriage to Francis will only result in his death. He also reveals one of her ladies in waiting will die, but he doesn’t know who. Way to be specific, Nostradamus. Mary then goes off to consult with Bash, who assures her Nostradamus is almost always right.
We then cut to a PG-13 scene with King Leather Pants and Mistress Diane while MS MR’s “Bones” plays in the background. A song has never fit more perfectly. When the King leaves for some refreshments, Catherine storms in the room and confronts Diane, telling her to skidaddle for good. To drive home her point, she says, “This acquaintance is about to be terminated.” Catherine then gives Diane poison and tells her to kill Kenna because she doesn’t want any more mistresses around, but also doesn’t want more blood on her hands. Get it, girl.
After the girls hang out with Kenna, one of the girls unknowingly drinks the poison, but we don’t know who. Creepy Clarissa does and starts stalking the slowly dying girl through the halls before pushing her down the stairs to finish the deed. Turns out it was Aylee, the super nice girl, and she dies in a pool of her own blood. Kenna realizes the drink was poisoned and, presumably, feels guilty.
Nostradamus knows it wasn’t Catherine’s poison that killed Aylee and confronts Creepy Clarissa, demanding to know why she would kill an innocent girl. Clarissa says she did it so Mary would believe his prophecies. (She speaks! Creepy Clarissa speaks!) Nostradamus goes all ragey on her, tears the sack off her head, and drags her away.
Side Note: We’re given a few clues about who Clarissa is and why she’s creepy. Judging by her ragged hair and the fact we never see her face, it’s safe to assume she’s disfigured in some way, maybe like the Phantom of the Opera? Nostradamus also alludes to her being a member of the royal family. Hmm….
Mary tells the girls she’s running away and then goes to court to declare she has no intention on claiming the English throne. King Leather Pants is none too pleased and says, “You’re walking away from power!” Mary counters, “I’m walking away from France.” Francis pleads with her to reconsider and wants to know why she’s changed her mind. She can’t seem to bring herself to tell him about the prophecy and instead blames it on believing that he doesn’t truly love her, that he will always put France before her.
Later, Mary tries to sneak away by taking a horse, but is stopped by a guard who insists she can’t go riding alone. Luckily, Bash comes in and helps her out. Once they’re alone, she tells him she’s leaving and he says he’ll go with her. The episode ends with Francis running after Mary while watching in agony as she and Bash ride off.
Best Line: Mary:
“I’m walking away from France.”
-Where was Leith? Seriously.
-Francis falls to his knees when Mary rides off, just like in Nostradamus’s vision. Did Nostradamus misinterpret the vision, meaning Francis won’t actually die from marrying Mary?
Moral of the Episode:
-Always Have Power Over Your Husband’s Mistresses
-The writers did a splendid job of connecting the dots and adding new threads to the story
-Adelaide Kane continues to shine brighter each week
-Shirtless Francis was lovely
Time to sound off, fellow Reigniacs! What did you think of tonight’s midseason finale? What questions do you have? What was your favorite moment? Did you miss Leith, too? Let me know in the comments! And don’t miss Reign’s return on January 23, 2014!